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Posts Tagged ‘conceptual’

Somehow I managed to miss the fact that January 24th was my photography birthday!  I like to remember that date; it helps me see how I’m moving forward and assess my upcoming plans and projects.

Six years ago on January 24th, I took my first self portrait.  I did it simply for the sake of doing it; I had an idea, so I executed it.  I certainly never imagined I was starting down a new, wonderful path that would effect everything in my life.

Cultus Procul Meus Sanctus Templum 600

Cultus Procul Meus Sanctus Templum – not actually my very first self portrait, but one from early on in that first year, and one which I’ve always felt was the first time I really felt like I’d started to find my own style.

I would like to take a moment and thank all the wonderful models whom I’ve had the great pleasure of working with over the last six years, especially those gluttons for art punishment who keep coming back shoot after shoot.  Tom Nagal, Dedeker Winston, Sandy Moore, Aly Darling, Veronica Ricci, Katie Johnson and Travis Weinand (in chronological order) have all been repeat collaborators.

They have endured getting up before dawn, smiled through bitter cold, boiling heat and snow, accidentally stumbling into stinging nettles (while nude, no less – sorry, Dedeker!)  and the most awkward and uncomfortable poses, props and costumes.  They’ve balanced precariously on horses, stripped themselves of their clothes (and inhibitions), been gawked at by curious strangers, laid in freezing cold creeks, let me cover them with mud and dirt, dodged ubiquitous Frisbee golfers, covered themselves in flour, held their breath through smoke bombs, submerged themselves in water I can only describe generously as repulsive and waited patiently while I spent weeks and months editing their images.

And they do it all without every breaking character.  These models are worth their weight in gold!  I appreciate them all more than I can ever say and am so glad that they trust me to turn my weird-sounding ideas into something beautiful.  They are people I can happily call friends.  I know that I can always count on them to do their absolute best and I try just as hard to give them my absolute best.

To Be So Full 900

An early image I shot with Dedeker, inspired by The Last Unicorn by Peter S Beagle.

I am still hard at work on the new chapter of DreamWorld!  I got some important hunks of crystal, amethyst and fluorite in this case, from my dear friend Jessi, fellow spoonie and owner of the Etsy shops Mineralism Crystals for all your crystal needs, and The Hopeful Spoon, full of beautiful handmade jewelry.  Thank you, Jessi!  These are so beautiful and they’ll make a truly gorgeous prop for DreamWorld!

On a last note, Jessi’s beloved cat Simba is going through an expensive medical crisis.  Jessi started a gofundme page to help pay for his treatment; please consider donating to it if you can!  Even a small amount would mean a great deal.  And of course, you can also help support the fund by purchasing items from Jessi’s shops!  I’ve bought from them and I have LOVED what I’ve gotten!

9365399_1456175469-3762

Simba needs our help! Save this beautiful kitty!

I hope to have a new piece to show you guys soon!  I’ve been working on it slowly between other DreamWorld things.  🙂

 

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I have actually known about Forgotten Plague for a couple of years and I’ve been anxiously awaiting its release!

Forgotten Plague (2015)

Now, finally, the documentary has been completed and it is available to stream through Itunes or Amazon for $4.99.  That is an amount I am more than happy to give to help support one of the few existing documentaries on ME/CFS.

Forgotten Plague’s creator, fellow ME/CFS sufferer Ryan Prior, does an excellent job of explaining just what ME/CFS is (as far as we currently know), what makes it so complicated to understand and treat, how it has been stigmatized and ignored by the medical community, and hopeful glimpses of a future with answers… maybe even a cure.

Honestly, I woke up today already at the end of my energy.  I feel like I can barely string words together right now, but this movie is far, far too important for me to not spread the word about it right away.  We NEED movies like this.  We need people who do not have ME/CFS or personally know someone with it to understand our struggle.  We need healthy people to help us fight for answers.  We need the stigma and misunderstandings to end.  We need people to have any idea what we’re talking about when we tell them we have myalgic encephalomyelitis.

Please watch Forgotten Plague, tell your friends about it, share it on social media.  This excellent film could help our community in profound ways, and we need that to happen.  Everyone wants to be understood.  At worst, watching this movie will help you get what my life is like.. and why I have had to slow down so greatly in all areas.  And you’ll probably enjoy my Enchanted Sleep series, on living with ME/CFS, a little bit more.

Thank you to everyone who will watch it and share it.  And a huge thank you to everyone who helped work on this magnificent documentary.  I’m sure it was utter hell at times, trying to make a movie while having ME, but the results are brilliant.  Thank you for validating our experiences.

Now, go watch Forgotten Plague!

A Poisoned Sleep And Kissless Dreaming

A Poisoned Sleep Of Kissless Dreams © Sarah Allegra – model: Katie Johnson. An image from my Enchanted Sleep series.

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A Cry From The Darkness

A self portrait that belongs to my Eternal Storm series, which explores depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait – detail

Wow, it feels like FOREVER since I finished my last piece!  This year has not been conducive to creating art.  I’ve done my best despite the circumstances which kept popping up (moving, medications, long ME flares, devoting a ton of time to the gallery show, stress from my recent battle among other things) but it’s felt like a very dry year creatively.  All I can do is my best though, and even when the ME really cramps my style, I still manage to get pieces finished… just much more slowly than I would like.

It was in this depressed feeling of “I haven’t created anything in the longest time imaginable” that today’s image was born.  When my regular creative outlets are blocked to me (by, say, solid weeks of migraines as I adjust to each new medication dosage), I become despondent and depressed.  Life slowly loses its flavor and color and if I’m not careful, I’ll sink into a pit of despair just like Artax in The Neverending Story.  Luckily, I have Geoff and my friends and family around to cheer me on and make sure I never sink too low, but much of it is outside of anyone’s control.

As I mentally pictured how I felt, this was it.  A big, ugly cloud of despair, depression, worthlessness, swirling around my head.  But this time, unlike my last self portrait which explored a similar theme, I wanted to show a bit of hope at the same time.  The cloud is surrounded, penetrated and pierced by beautiful, golden rays of light.  They stream in through the darkness, weaving through its thick blackness.  The darkness cannot survive in the light.  It will be broken up and dissipate.  And while I know this will probably not be my last battle with depression, I also know that each round will eventually be over… and once again, the light will have won.  That is the hope I cling to when the clouds cover me.

I’d like to mention my friend and very talented photographer Robert Cornelius’s Dust to Dust series as it provided some inspiration in my planning out of the darkness cloud.  Thanks, Robert!  🙂  He’s an incredible photographer and all-around cool dude, so check out his work if you’re not familiar with it!

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra - a self portrait

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait

This image belongs to my Eternal Storms series on depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.  These topics are still seen as quite taboo to discuss, something I hope to help with by portraying what living with them is like openly and honestly.  Silence and shame never helped a single illness get cured.  We need to be able to speak openly about our experiences, without judgement or fear, if we’re ever going to healed from them.

A Cry From The Darkness

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait – detail

A Cry From The Darkness

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait – detail

 

Do you have depression?  Try being a little more honest next time a trusted friend asks how you are.  You don’t have to go into excruciating detail, but try to avoid the temptation to simply answer “fine,” unless you actually are.  And if you have friends or family who you suspect or know suffer from any kind of mental ailment?  Invite them to tell you about it, ask some questions, assuring them that talking to you is safe and you will not judge them or call them crazy.  It is crucial that you answer whatever they tell you with love.  It is incredibly hard for people to open up and talk to others about these problems, so take their trust very seriously and treat it with the gentlest and greatest respect.

A Cry From The Darkness

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait – detail

A Cry From The Darkness

A Cry From The Darkness © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait – detail

As we approach Thanksgiving, let’s be thankful for the help and support we have.  For the people dedicated to helping us win our fight.  For the people who will listen to us with only love and understanding in their hearts.  The people who give us hope.  The inner strength we are able to find when we think we’ve exhausted it all.  Those extra beams of light when we need them the most.  We need more people like this in the world.  Let’s try and all be them to each other.  The simple fact that there are people in the world who try to reach this goal is something I am very thankful for!

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Actually, they were available to download on the first, but I’m just posting about it now.  My neurologist changed my medication again which led to the longest string of migraines and general barfiness and feeling awful yet.  I’m just so glad I can edit again.  The lack of outlet was REALLY driving me crazy.

This will be a short post, I just wanted to let everyone know that they can now download Peter S. Beagle’s magnificent works to their Kindles and read them to their hearts content!  And, of course, that six of the said book covers proudly bear my images, which you can see below 🙂

Go get yourself one of these titles from the Amazon-exclusive release!  You’ll thank me profusely when you discover how magical Peter’s writing is.

I have to say that it’s magical, wonderful, fulfilling, surreal and fills me with overwhelming joy and gratitude that I and my art get to be a part of Peter’s art.  His work has had such a deep influence on my whole life in a way that I will never be able to properly put into words, but it is something I will cherish forever.  Thank you, Connor Cochran, for making this happen!!

Special thanks to Katie Johnson, Patrick Reid and Bryce Rankins for their modeling in these images!

Also, I wanted to let you all know what my friend and fellow spoonie Jessi has been up to!  While traditionally, she’s been a painter, her severe fibro symptoms are not allowing much of that right now.  Thankfully, she discovered that she can make jewelry even while laying in bed!  She just opened an Etsy shop filled with beautiful earrings, suitable for every day wear as well as special awareness ribbons and colors for various invisible illnesses.  Do stop by her shop and pick up a pair!  They’re very reasonably priced and make gorgeous gifts.  The holidays are almost upon us 🙂

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[The following images are  © Ashley Lebedev, unless otherwise stated]

I have some health updates for you guys which I will tell you about soon (nothing too exciting, don’t worry) but I’ve been too busy doing the updated things that I’ve hardly had any time to write or edit or do anything creative.  I’m switching medications and weaning up to a therapeutic dose of the new one right now; I’m not quite midway through the transactions.  I feel pretty horrible; intense migraines all day and night, nausea, exhaustion (beyond normal levels even), pain flairs and insomnia.  But I don’t feel like I should be complaining about any of that after hearing what Ashley Lebedev, aka Bottle Bell Photography, has been going through.

æther.

© Ashley Lebedev | Bottle Bell ™

 

I knew that Ashley had some health problems, but that was about all I knew.  We both live inside the fine-art-conceptual-magical-ethereal-fantasy-fae-creating-characters-building-our-own-props-and-costumes-and-sometimes-self-portrait-taking-photographers-world, which as you can imagine, doesn’t have a HUGE number of members.  We’ve known each other online for several years and I’ve come to know Ashley as being endlessly creative, genuinely positive, extremely talented and an all-around lovely person.

But I didn’t know that she was dying.

The Guardian. | Faerieland Series

© Ashley Lebedev | Bottle Bell ™

It turns out that Ashley is far, far sicker than I realized.  Her doctors don’t even know exactly what the problem is, only that she is dangerously sick and will die without intervention.  But intervention is hard to get if you don’t know what you’re fighting.  Ashley recently launched a GoFundMe to help finance her journey toward health, which will likely include some very expensive stays at medical facilities, special tests and treatments, all not covered by insurance.

hallowed.

© Ashley Lebedev | Bottle Bell ™

This is going to be VERY expensive.  And Ashley needs our help.  I am asking you all to please help her, even if it’s a very small donation.  I know money is tight for most of us these days, I get that.  I wish I could have donated a much larger amount of money to her campaign.  But the thing is, even if we all only gave $5, it would make a difference.

New Faerieland | "The Great Hall"

© Ashley Lebedev | Bottle Bell ™

Ashley needs us.  And the world needs Ashley.  It would be a much darker, sadder place without her bright, beautiful soul.  So please, donate to her cause if you can.  And whether you can or can’t help with money, you can also help just by spreading the word about her fight!

The Weight of a Whistle Already Carved | New Faerieland~

© Ashley Lebedev | Bottle Bell ™

I know that she will also welcome any prayers, Reiki, good energy, lit candles, etc, sent her way.  I know that she can get through this, but she will need our help.  Let’s overwhelm her with our love and support!  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!

All images above are © Ashley Lebedev and are included to show what a beautifully talented artist she is.  I’ll round things off with my latest image here at the bottom.

The Living Sepulcher © Sarah Allegra, model - Dedeker Winston

The Living Sepulcher © Sarah Allegra, model – Dedeker Winston

 

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Some of you know that my birthday is quickly approaching; so quickly, in fact, that it hardly seems like it really is almost that time of year.  It’s been such a crazy, non-stop year with seemingly one crisis and difficulty after another.  I’m going to just ASSUME, universe, that the bad luck switch is getting reset on August 3rd and I will start the year fresh and free from more crisis.

I am just done with stress and poor health and putting out fires.  So this next year is going to be different.  I will it to be so.

Happy Day, © Sarah Allegra - a self portrait I took five years ago on my birthday, right after I'd started shooting.

Happy Day, © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait I took five years ago on my birthday, right after I’d started shooting.

I honestly don’t feel up to making a big fuss over my birthday, in any part of my life.  The day of will probably consist of my favorite type of dinner – having something delivered to the house so I don’t have to change out of my PJs!  (Well, I will put clothes on for my therapy appointment that morning, although my therapist is so great, I’m sure she wouldn’t care if I didn’t.  But then I can change back into jammies as soon as I’m home.)  No fancy dinners where you have to get dressed up with actual, nice clothes and make reservations and stay up past my bedtime… nope, just bring some food to my gate, toss it in and I’m a happy camper.  There’s one silver lining to chronic illness; it makes you a cheap and easy date!  😉  Though I’ve tended to prefer this kind of evening for a long time.

So yes, mellow birthday for me.  But I thought I could use the occasion to celebrate hobbit-style; instead of them giving me something, I’ll celebrate by giving gifts to my guests!  That’s you guys!!

Since this is all virtual (and I’m broke) I’m not giving you physical gifts, but instead, the gift of sales!  I don’t control the pricing and sales of every store I sell through, but the ones that allow me to, I’m giving you guys some codes to snatch up that pretty thing you’ve had your eye on at a discount 🙂

Vanity's Murder - © Sarah Allegra, a self portrait

Vanity’s Murder – © Sarah Allegra, a self portrait

I sell museum-quality fine art prints through my Etsy shop; right now, save 30% on ALL prints!

My Etsy shop also has a few pieces of “wearable art,” some of which is inspired by DreamWorld characters and some of which was inspired by The Last Unicorn!

Taco purse available on Etsy :)

Taco purse available on Etsy 🙂

A Fading Girl © Sarah Allegra, model: Brooke Shaden

A Fading Girl © Sarah Allegra, model: Brooke Shaden

And for something even more special, I also host a very unique online photography class,  INTROSPECTIVE: A Photographic Quest.  Enter code INTROBDAY50 to get 30% off the course!

INTROSPECTIVE is much more about self-discovery than it is about knowing what f-stops are or having fancy equipment.  You don’t even have to have an actual camera; your phone will do perfectly well!  The course emphasizes self portraits as a way to get to know yourself better, but the definition of “self portrait” here is quite loose.  You never have to appear in an image unless you really want to.  What I mean by “self portrait” in this case is simply any photograph which shows me something about who you are as a person!
The Blue Ribbon © Sarah Allegra, Model: Katie Johnson

The Blue Ribbon © Sarah Allegra, Model: Katie Johnson

Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve been waiting to share this new info with you guys!  I recently opened a shop on Fiverr!  Right now I don’t have all the gigs up I’m planning on, but there are a few up.  A couple Reiki-related and others involve me giving you original textures that you can use on your photos, even commercial ones!  If you’re new to Fiverr, get ready to fall in love.  Fiverr is a site where people post gigs which all cost… you guessed it, $5.  They may have additional features you can add on which might cost more, but the basic service they advertize always costs just $5.  I’ve found them extremely helpful and useful ever since I found out it existed a few months ago.  You can literally find ALMOST ANYTHING there for $5.  It’s pretty amazing.  So I figured I’d get in on the fun!

Aly Darling © Sarah Allegra, model: Aly Darling.  Before light textures have been added.

Aly Darling © Sarah Allegra, model: Aly Darling. Before light textures have been added.

Aly Darling © Sarah Allegra, model: Aly Darling.  After light textures have been added.

Aly Darling © Sarah Allegra, model: Aly Darling. After light textures have been added.

Then there’s also Red Bubble.  Through my Red Bubble shop I sell all of the following items with my images on them:

We Rise Again © Sarah Allegra - a self portrait

We Rise Again © Sarah Allegra – a self portrait

And I’ve got the prints I sell through my gallery representative.
Where Earth Meets The Sky © Sarah Allegra - model: Katie Johnson

Where Earth Meets The Sky © Sarah Allegra – model: Katie Johnson

Since I’m still fighting off a stupid summer cold, I’ll end this here.  I can tell you that any sales I can make would be hugely appreciated.  Not only is it just very expensive to living day to day with chronic illnesses (and Maynard has had to go the vet a lot recently) but I’d also like to start saving up for some really needed equipment and cool projects!  Please use and enjoy the coupons from now until September 1st!  Celebrate my birthday with presents for you all month long 😀

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New DreamWorld image!!  I’m always happy to have a new installment for this series!

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado - detail

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado – detail

This image is a little bit “out of order,” so to speak.  The Apprentice is, obviously, an apprentice, but to someone you haven’t met yet, although you will.  In an ideal world, I would have shown you the Apprentice’s mistress first so it made more sense why she is out collecting herbs and plants and other ingredients, but you’ll have to just trust me on this for now  🙂  Hopefully I’ll be able to show you her mistress soon, but that’s going to be a pretty complicated shoot.

This image is extra special because it features a new model for me, Noemi Regalado.  Noemi is not someone who actively pursues modeling like most of the other people I work with.  She happened across my work and sent me an email asking if she could be a part of it.  Of course I said yes!  It took us a little while to find a time to shoot (which was all my fault; I think she first wrote me right around the time of my first sinus surgery and we know how that turned out.  And it seems nothing has calmed down since then!) but eventually we got a time set that worked for us both.

In a way, I’m a little glad that we had a few months to email back and forth and get to know each other a little more before the shoot although I’m sure the wait was maddening for Noemi!  (She will probably deny this because she’s very laid-back and easy going, but still.  Waiting sucks.)  In the course of our email exchange I learned that she has had her own health battles despite only being about the same age as I am.  She is a cancer survivor, currently completely in remission, and I suspect that she will stay that way.  She is a gentle soul but I know she fought that cancer out of her body.  She also participates in mud runs, something I probably would never have had the endurance for even before ME, and since her apartment only allows very small dogs, she volunteers regularly at a German Shepherd rescue group.  Every couple weeks she goes down, takes a dog out for a nice walk, socialization and a whole lot of love.  Then she repeats the process several times.  If that’s not one of the best examples of making lemonade from lemons that you’ve heard, I don’t know what to tell you 🙂  Shelter dogs have SO MUCH up against them, even the smallest gesture of love and attention can go a long, long way toward helping that dog find his or her forever home.  And so far she has been directly responsible for at least one Shepherd finding a home with a friend of hers!  I’m sure there will be more.

As you can see, Noemi is a very cool chick!  I wanted to come up with some concepts for her which would fit with her personality and her willingness to get uncomfortable and messy for a photo.  We ended up shooting two concepts; this first one that you’ll see today, as I said, is a DreamWorld image, and the second one, which I have not yet edited, will show off her willingness to do what it takes to get the shot.  And I have to say, she was a great model!  She took direction very well and had a better knack for it than some “actual” models I’ve come across 😉

So, let me tell you a little about making Noemi’s mask/headdress for this shot!  It all started with this lovely purple mask which I found at Rite Aid, of all places, on one of my many, many trips there to pick up prescriptions.  The color really caught my eye, I thought it would compliment Noemi well and I also noticed that it was less expensive than the completely blank, white masks at the craft store!  And no built-in swirls with the blank white masks either.  So that was a pretty easy decision to buy it.

Trying on the mask for research, NOT just because it was fun :)

Trying on the mask for research, NOT just because it was fun 🙂

But of course it can’t just be a basic mask, even if it looked very pretty in its basic form.  The first thing I did was cover it with a layer of lace, which happened to be a remnant cut from my wedding dress (because, surprise!, it was too long ;)).

Mask laceAfter brushing on a layer of fabric glue, I started with a layer of EXTREMELY glittery purple paint.

It doesn't look interesting wet...

It doesn’t look interesting wet…

But it dries into a really stunning color!

But it dries into a really stunning color!

Then I did some trimming on the lace to get the edges to match those of the mask itself.

At this point, I knew I wanted to put some leaves and flowers on it, but I didn’t know much more than that.  So I dragged out my fabric stash (what you’re seeing here is what I’d been able to buy during a HUGE sale!), my glue gun and just started messing around.

mask and loose flowersI knew I wanted to extend the sides of the mask with leaves, so I started there.  Maynard helpfully modeled this part for me.

Maynard is an awesome model, even when he's not facing the camera

Maynard is an awesome model, even when he’s not facing the camera

You can also see that I’d added a bit of black ink around the eye holes, rather like eyeliner.  Just a subtle touch to help draw the viewer’s eye since there was going to be a fair bit going on.

I just played around with different colored flowers and shapes, holding them in place, tweaking things here and there and then suddenly I had a finished mask!  I hadn’t planned on giving it so much vertical volume, that just sort of evolved naturally, but I liked how it looked so I went with it.  Some costumes I have planned out in precise detail before I ever start them, but others are more free-form, like this was.  Always listen to your gut 🙂

mask four small

A mask! Photos from here out are taken in the bathroom to protect it from over-eager cats.

As I looked at it the next day, I felt like it was 95% there but it needed… something.  I didn’t know what.  I mulled it over and when I woke up the next morning I knew it: mercury silver spray paint.

Krylon’s Looking Glass spray paint is no ordinary silver paint.  It has a truly magical quality to it and I end up using it in almost every costume or prop I paint.  Just the slightest mist gives it a mysterious, magical, ethereal touch.  I try to always keep a couple cans on hand because I never know when I’ll suddenly need them.

So that morning I took the mask outside and let the paint gently kiss the mask; just enough to give it that magical feeling without taking away the beautiful colors of the paint and flowers.  In the photos below (which are a little blurry, sorry, they were taken on my phone) the top photos show details of the flowers unpainted and the bottom have had their silver wash.

Flowers with and without Looking Glass paint

Flowers with and without Looking Glass paint

I filled a basket with appropriately magical-looking items and herbs but it didn’t make it into the final image.  Oh well.  You can see just a little of the vial necklace I made full of purple stones and beads and the gorgeous amulet/brooch.  Jewel tones just loved Noemi’s beautiful skin tone!

And now I’ll let you see the completely finished image along with some detail shots!  The show trees had just started blooming in the woods and the wild queen anne’s lace was bountiful.  Both made a beautiful, more neutral backdrop against Noemi’s vividly colored mask and costume.

sarahallegra.com

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado - detail

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado – detail

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado - detail

Apprenticeship © Sarah Allegra, model Noemi Regalado – detail

Thanks to Noemi for being so patient through all this!  I’m very glad to have made a new friend though all this 🙂  And I’m very happy with how this turned out!  You’ll all just have to wait a little while longer to see the image where Noemi really proved her devotion to the finished image 😉

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