I like to think of the Storm-Bringer as the counterpoint to the Wind Goddess:
Where Earth Meets The Sky
They have similar powers and both rule over the sky, but one brings the weather we like, while the other brings that which we don’t like. Which is not to say that the Storm-Bringer is an evil character; not at all. Storms are useful to the world in a variety of ways; bringing rain is just one of them. While me might prefer one over the other, both are needed and they balance each other.
This image was actually not one I’d set out to create. Katie and I were shooting something else entirely, which had nothing to do with DreamWord, but when I sorted through the raw images, one of them really caught my eye. I was shooting about Katie (from the second story of my mom’s house) and an image where she was flipping her hair around sparked something in me. I looked at the next few frames where her hair continued its circular flip and thought it would look cool if I blended them all together.
Just for the hell of it, I brought the images into Photoshop and started playing around… and I played some more… and some more, and then I had a finished piece which I really loved! As I looked at the finished image, I realized I’d created a new DreamWorld character without having planned it, but her story quickly formed inside my head.
We cannot have a world where there are only beautiful, sunny days. Even an imaginary world. The dark needs the light and the light needs the shadow, otherwise it would be a flat, saccharine depthless place. DreamWorld started initially as an escape, and more importantly, not something I expected to turn into such a long, rich, detailed place as it has. It is still my escape, but I can now fill in some of the darker areas along with the joy and sunlight. A story isn’t a story without a conflict, without a villain. Using a religious metaphor pioneered by Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell, a trinity (father, son, holy spirit) is inherently incomplete. And one more facet to it, making it a quaternity (father, son, holy spirit and devil) and it becomes complete and self-sustaining. The dark and the storms enhance the light, but the light will always defeat the dark.
Though, if we’re speaking purely of wish-fulfillment, I would never have a bright, sunny day. I would fit in very well somewhere like Portland or Seattle, since my favorite days are the gray, overcast ones, a little on the cool side. In my perfect world, every day would be like that, but even I realize the need for a storm now and then to shake things up 🙂
First things first: the light. Let’s get to the winner of The Blue Ribbon! Drum roll please…
Congratulations, Brittany D. Perkins!!! You havewon a beautiful, 10″ x 15″ print of The Blue Ribbon!. Your print will come on beautiful, shimmering, pearlized, archival paper and will be hand-signed. Please send an email to me at sarah@sarahallegra.com with your mailing address and I’ll get it to you!
What do you guys think? Was that fun? Something we should do again? Did the tweeting format work for you? Let me know your thoughts and I can fine-tune my contest process to make it better for everyone! Don’t forget that my fundraising will continue for the entire month of May, so stock up on your art purchases now while they’ll do the most good!
I think I was telling you guys about the evolution of this character. I’ve always had a thing for horns and antlers on people (see my very first self portrait as proof) and wanted to work them into DreamWorld from the beginning. As with most mythologies, I felt there was room for a Puckish, trickster character, which is what I had in mind when I started constructing this creature. The beginning of my work on him coincided with the beginning of True Detective, a pure coincidence, but True Detective’s ominous Yellow King bled into my concept, and before I knew it my trickster had transformed beyond a mere Puck or even Loki into the DreamWorld version of The King In Yellow.
DreamWorld is an ever-evolving place, and while this King is the first sinister character to be portrayed, there are other forces at work. We will meet them eventually. For now, I think it is enough to know that the King in Yellow has been sent into exile by DreamWorld’s true King for trying to usurp the throne and plunge DreamWorld into darkness. He has been foiled for now, and is thus known as they Exiled King, though some still whisper of the King in Yellow and restoring him to his rightful, dark glory along with those who seek the same goals… but I don’t worry. The King is strong and benevolent. And we haven’t even met the Queen yet, though we will soon. She also rules for good, and is not to be taken lightly.
Let the whispers and secrets travel where they will. The King in Yellow has been sent into exile as a merciful punishment, but I doubt a second grab for the throne would be met with such leniency.
Now that you know about the Exiled King, want to see how he came to life?
My initial inspiration for the antlers was the Makhor goat’s horns, such as seen in this stock image:
Horns are always tricky to build for human heads. Making them stable but light, keeping them balanced on the head while trying to appear that there’s no supporting structure at all… they’re always a nightmare to make. And I knew these ones were going to be the largest pair I’d made yet. As usual, I dove in without a real plan and figured it out as I went.
I started with a regular headband and some strong but light wire, wrapped around itself and twisted generously onto the headband. I began introducing the twisted shape by wrapping it around my arm a few times.
I wrapped a thin layer of newspaper over each wire frame, adding a layer of masking tape on top to help it hold its shape and smooth it.
Looking very lop-sided at the moment
I initially tried spraying the antlers with spray adhesive to try to help smooth the antlers further, but all it really did was make it tacky, even after it had dried. I sighed and decided I’d try and use it to my advantage by covering the antlers with a layer of metallic gold tissue paper (which smells really weird, by the way). I filled in some of the larger dips and gaps with hot glue and added a little more tissue paper, but I knew I’d end up having to do a little smoothing to them in post production. I don’t remember why now, but I ended up getting these finished just the evening before my morning shoot, so I didn’t have more time to tinker with them and make them absolutely perfect.
You can see here the careful support structure I created literally with toothpicks and popsicle sticks broken into smaller strips. Sometimes the most straight-forward way is the best way 🙂 They’re also reinforced with a little bit of monofilament line to help them not bow away from each other.
With the antlers done, I moved onto the leaf mantle. I used approximately a billion fake leaves for this which I’d collected over several years and a number of projects. I still found myself nearly running out by the end and had to ration them carefully. I concentrated on the leaves around the face first, which also conveniently covered the antler’s headband and support structures.
A full mantle of leaves
I’ve had this one vest in my “costume” supplies for a very long time and I just love it. It looks very rugged and home-spun and fits a very wide variety of looks and styles. I’m pretty sure it was made for someone closer to my size than Dan’s, so I quickly added extra length to it by cutting straight through the shoulder seem and building a new shoulder strap with leaves hot glued to each other. The yard provided a wealth of beautiful acorns to choose from and use as buttons. And don’t worry, the squirrels still had more to eat than they ever could.
Next was the big leaf amulet. I’d gotten this pack of huge, very realistic leaves probably two years ago and had been holding on to them, waiting for them to become useful. Now was their time! This heavy chain was also in my stash for similar reasons, and became a lovely chain for what would be a leaf amulet.
Some smaller, gold-dusted leaves, a large gold key and an amber-colored, leaf-shaped crystal finished it off.
Almost done!
Leaf slipper tops
The very last thing I made were “leaf slippers,” for lack of a better word. They were just several leaves glued together with elastic straps to help keep them on Dan’s feet; super easy!
Leaf slipper bottoms
I also cut up some strips of a golden-brown, rustic-looking cotton to tie around Dan’s sleeves and pant legs, but that would be assembled the day of. As far as my prep work went, I was done! I honestly can’t remember exactly how long the whole costume took to make… several days of solid work, no sleep? Eight weeks? I have no idea, but it was long. When I’m deeply involved in a project like this, time melts away for any practical use.
Before I get more into this, let me back up and tell you about Dan Donohue, who so beautifully brought my character to life. Dan is celebrated actor, best known for his extensive theater work. He played Scar in Disney’s Broadway version of The Lion King and left for Oregon almost immediately after our shoot to go play Henry the III at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival’s version of Henry the III, as well as the father in their production of A Wrinkle In Time. You would never believe from meeting him that he does evil and sinister so well; he is truly one of the kindest, most enthusiastic and genuinely lovely people I’ve had the pleasure of working with. But the moment I told him to be a villain, it all fell away and for a second I had to catch my breath because he so completely embodied The King In Yellow. Dan is a muse if I’ve ever met one and a pure delight to work with! He’s also very creative and funny, as I’ll get into more later.
The morning of the shoot came quickly, Dan and I found our location and the entire shoot was easy and felt effortless. There may have been a bit more effort on Dan’s part trying to keep his antlers and mantle from toppling over if he moved his head too far in any direction, but it seemed that his theater experience really paid off and helped him manage this probably cumbersome bit of costume beautifully.
Antler wrangling
Generally when I shoot new DreamWorld characters, I edit one or two images; maybe three if I feel they’re all really compelling, but in this instance I edited five. This is almost unprecedented. The only other time I’ve edited more photos from a single concept, with no costume or location changes was for the Katie’s World set. That says quite a lot about how perfectly Dan was able to become the Exiled King. But enough talking about them. You want to see the images, right?
You’ve seen this first one already since I used it to tease the series, but I’m posting it again so the whole set can be seen together as intended. To set the mood, here are the two quotes which most directly influenced how I took the set, one from Robert W. Chamber’s book The King In Yellow and one from True Detective.
–Cassilda’s Song, The King In Yellow by Robert W. Chambers
“Him who eats time. Him robes; it’s a wind of invisible voices. Rejoice, death is not the end! Rejoice, death is not the end! Rejoice, Carcosa!”
– Miss Delores, True Detective episode 7, After You’ve Gone
The Shadows Lengthen
The Shadows Lengthen – detail
The Shadows Lengthen – detail. Dan’s hand here kills me every time, it’s SO PERFECT. I never knew a single hand could be so expressive, yet it is.
Pliable Reality – shot using a home-made “Lensbaby” which was the top of a water bottle
Pliable Reality – detail
Pliable Reality – detail
Pliable Reality – detail
Where Black Stars Rise
Where Black Stars Rise – detail
Where Black Stars Rise – detail
Where Black Stars Rise – detail
The Tatters Of The King
The Tatters Of The King – detail
The Tatters Of The King – detail
And perhaps my favorite of them all….
His Robe Is A Wind of Invisible Voices
His Robe Is A Wind of Invisible Voices – detail
His Robe Is A Wind of Invisible Voices – detail
His Robe Is A Wind of Invisible Voices – detail
His Robe Is A Wind of Invisible Voices – detail
Whew, still with me? I know that was a long post, but I had a lot of photos to cover!
He’s not REALLY evil, he just pretends really well!
The only sad thing is that we never got to see how well Dan managed his leaf slippers, but trust me, he killed it like everything else.
Dan as Richard the III – Copyright Oregon Shakespeare Festival
Thank you so much to Dan for being the perfect King in Yellow and furthermore being extremely patient as I slowly edited all of these!! Hopefully we won’t have to wait too long to see the Exiled King’s companions and cohorts! Dan has been invited back again whenever he returns to California, so he may pop up in more photos; I hope so 🙂
“I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Vanity’s Murder, a self portrait
May 12th is called “Invisible Illness Day.”
You probably don’t know that…and that’s part of the problem.
Years ago, May 12th was chosen to be the international awareness day for chronic immunological and neurological diseases, which include everything from Gulf War Syndrome and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities to fibromyalgia (fibro), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). Yet more money is spent each year trying to cure male pattern baldness than these diseases.
I’m all for a luxurious head of hair. But, diseases like ME are taking lives.
A Fading Girl – model: Brooke Shaden
To be sure, “Invisible Illness Day” rolls off the tongue much more easily than “Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Day.” But the name highlights one of the sources of great frustration for most of us — we often do not APPEAR outwardly sick, thus many people refuse to believe our illness is real.
Unfortunately, some of those “many people” include doctors, policy makers and insurance companies.
How do we fight an illness with no end, no cure, no treatment, no recognition? How many people must die before the world pays attention? How many sufferers must commit suicide from the hopelessness and misery they’re dragged through every day before change comes? We fight it by bringing awareness of the problem, one person at a time. Every tweet, Facebook post, blog entry, text and conversation you and I have about ME helps fight it. Every petition we sign, documentary we watch and donation we give is a punch in ME’s face. And here’s the latest way I’m balling up my tiny little fists.
Also, in honor of this day of raising awareness, I’m holding a contest to win a beautiful, 10″ x 15″, museum-quality print of my latest image, The Blue Ribbon; an underwater representation of the struggle that living with ME can be. Your print will come on beautiful, shimmering, pearlized, archival paper. And all you have to do is tweet!
The Blue Ribbon, model: Katie Johnson – enter the giveaway to win a print of this image!
Tweeting multiple statements will count as extra entries, so enter as many times as you like. However, tweeting the same statement multiple times will not count. And that will probably just annoy the people reading your feed, so don’t do it. 😉 I will choose a random winner from all entries on May 20th and announce the winner here!
Thank you to everyone for reading and participating!
If you have had your own experiences with ME, CFS, fibro or any other chronic illness and you’d like to share your story, please leave it in a comment!
Poor, patient Katie shot this same concept with me three times, spanning almost a solid year from the first take to the last one. I assured her each time we reshot it that the problem was not her, because it honestly wasn’t. This was a case of me having a very clear vision in my head of how the image should look, but not taking the time to inspect it closely enough. Each of the other two tries at this shoot came close, but there was always something just enough wrong with it that I knew I needed to reshoot it to be truly happy with the final images.
Flora Awakens
Here they finally are! Flora is a DreamWorld character I’ve had in my head for a long time; an obvious statement given how many times I’ve tried to capture her visually, but much longer considering all the time I spent conceptualizing her and building her elaborate costume.
Flora was a nature spirit to me, the bringer of spring, renewal and life. I strongly pictured that wherever she walked, flowers would grow in her footsteps. I thought this was quite original until I remembered…
When I was young, I watched (over and over and over) an animated version of The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, which remains my favorite film version of the novel to this day (it’s the only version which, in my opinion, gives Aslan a truly “golden” voice as CS Lewis describes it, for one thing). In this take on the story, when Aslan is resurrected and romps with Lucy and Susan, flowers spring up wherever he steps, leaving a trail of paw-shaped floral clusters.
Ok, so the idea wasn’t exactly mine. But at least I realized where I’d gotten the idea before I started calling it completely my own!
I started with a beautifully embroidered corset top at a local second-hand store. I spent a while deciding if I would keep it as part of my personal wardrobe or use it for this costume, and the costume obviously won. I decided I had enough pretty things that I don’t wear often enough as is, and it really added a lovely depth to the costume with its subtle ornateness. The other base piece of clothing was a lovely, fluffy aqua-colored skirt made from layers of the lightest, softest netting. This was another thing I had to seriously debate weather to sacrifice to the costume gods, but in the end, I decided I could always buy another one for myself.
Over the aqua skirt, I added an airy overskirt of ivory tulle, lifting it in two spots at the front with a small spray of flowers to hold it in place. I added a layer of tulle around the top of the bodice as well to give flowers more to hold on to and also give it a dropped shoulder.
Creating is usually a messy process.
Next step, as it so often is, was to cover it with flowers! My handy hot glue gun proved its worth again. I tried to pick flowers which enhanced the shape I was creating in the clothing. The wisteria dripping down from the shoulders seemed so perfect to me!
Once I had the front looking pretty much like how I’d pictured it, I started working on the most exciting part; the train!
This dress’ train started at the top of the back and went all the way down to the bottom of the skirt; a very old-fashioned and somewhat unusual style of train. Since I knew I was going to have use my flowers carefully and wisely to make them cover everything I wanted them to, I hemmed and hawed over this part a lot; pinning flowers in place, moving them around, flipping this one and that one… Eventually I just had to start gluing flowers in place and trust that I would figure it out as I went.
The almost-finished train!
After I was satisfied with the dress, I started working on the flower footprints.
Fabric feet
I traced the shape of my feet onto paper and then cut four pairs of feet out of some nice dark green material I had leftover from another project. Again, the next step was to cover with flowers!
This gave me a total of eight feet. I would have liked to have done a few more, but I was running out of flowers, so I had to make due.
Beware of hot glue drippings. I still have a faint scar from where this guy landed a year ago.
Apparently I didn’t take any making-of photos of the flower pieces for Katie’s face, hair and hands, which is too bad. For the pieces in her hair, on her eyebrows and ears, I cut rough shapes from a thin sheet of plastic; I knew the glue would melt the plastic where it came in direct contact, but it would provide just enough of a frame to make my life easier. They were very free-form creations, which I put together on my foam head to make sure the proportions were at least somewhat reasonable. I had planned on cutting them slightly to fit Katie’s face when the shooting day came, but they ended up fitting her beautifully! The pieces in her hair were held on with bobby pins and the ones of her face stayed on with a little help from garment tape.
Katie being adorable and showing off her new prosthetics.
Her “hand flowers,” as I was calling them, were meant to show life just springing off her, literally dripping from her fingers. These were only constructed the day before the third shoot, and I loved what they added to the images, so perhaps it’s lucky that the first two takes didn’t turn out 🙂 These were very, very easy to make. I tied a loop of clear, stretchy cord to slide over Katie’s palms. From each of these loops I tied three lengths of monofilament thread and randomly glued little petals and blossoms to them so it looked like they were falling.
At this point Katie and I shot the concept… then we reshot it… and then we finally shot it for a third time, which was the one that stuck. It goes to show, if something doesn’t go right the first time, just try and use it as a learning experience! With Katie, we always have a fun time, no matter what we shoot, so when concepts aren’t perfect right away, I haven’t wasted anything. I had a good time with my friend, and I hopefully learned something about how I don’t want my final image to look!
With that said, allow me to show you the finished trio of images, with detail shots beneath each of them!
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Spring’s Awakening – detail
Joy Of Renewal
Joy Of Renewal – detail
Joy Of Renewal – detail
Life Eternal
Life Eternal – detail
Life Eternal – detail
And here’s a few more detail shots to cover all my bases!
Flora shoot details
Flora shoot details
Flora shoot details
Flora shoot details
Flora Shoot detail
If you have a favorite of the three, I’d love to hear your opinion!
Lastly, before I go, I’d like to mention the lovely interview I did with the well-respected photography site PhotoFocus! I was very honored to be their Photographer Of The Week 🙂
Thank you, PhotoFocus!! And thank you to all my readers and supporters! And an extra big, special thank you to Katie Johnson for being so patient and willing to keep redoing this one concept with me and knocking it out of the park every time!
***WARNING: this post will contain spoilers for this season of True Detective. Turn back now, ye who have not seen it.***
There. With the formalities out of the way, we can settle in and chat 🙂
I don’t believe I have ever witnessed such a frenzied, overwhelming reaction to a television show in such a short amount of time. True Detective was only eight episodes long. I knew, for myself, that I was going to be completely obsessed with it by the second episode; I warned Geoff about it and that I was going to have to buy it on DVD the very moment it came out. You all probably know by now how I tend to obsess over things.
For anyone unfamiliar with True Detective, it is an eight-episode series which recently ran on HBO. It tells the story of Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, two detectives who are partnered together to solve a serial killer murder mystery. The show jumps around from 1995, when they believe they solved the crime, and 2012, when it rapidly becomes obvious that something is amiss; the killer was not apprehended after all.
What impressed me so much was how strongly the entire internet reacted to the show. Within those same short, first few weeks the internet exploded with True Detective interest, and by the finale, the fervor was so high that fans streaming the episode through HBO GO crashed the network’s servers. This is the kind of rabid loyalty that usually takes years to build up, like with Breaking Bad, for example. Both shows completely deserved the devotion given to them, but it intrigues me that True Detective was able to accomplish this in a mere eight weeks. What is so different about this show?
Like the very best art, it’s extremely difficult to parse out exactly what makes it so special. True Detective was pure magic, and I don’t believe it’s something that can be distilled down to a formula and repeated endlessly. But I’m still going to take a stab at defining what I think people, including myself, are responding to so strongly.
1. Relateable, real, unique characters. Marty Hart and Rust Cohle, played by Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey respectively, are fascinating. They are fully realized, flawed, broken men but they still try to do good and make a difference in the world. Whether you’re more of a Hart or a Cohle (guess which one I am – HAH), you’ll find someone to identify with.
These men both deserve Emmys and any and all awards given out to television performances for their acting. To be honest, I’d never really gotten Matthew McConnaughey before. True Detective completely changed my opinion of him; I was absolutely blown away. Woody Harrelson is, of course, spectacular as well, but I went in expecting to enjoy his work. McConnaughey’s jaw-dropping performance in scene after scene was a revelation to me.
2. A script which treats its audience with respect. You will not be talked down to here. There is no spoon-feeding of the audience. You are expected to pay attention and remember clues dropped in one episode and discovered in another. Nothing has been dumbed-down and it’s incredibly refreshing. I want my shows to challenge me, to engage me, to literally take me on a journey. True Detective does all that and more.
3. Myth and metaphor. If you’ve seen any of the series, you’ve probably already read about how much of it was inspired by Robert W. Chambers’ 1895 classic work The King In Yellow. The King In Yellow is a collection of short stories about a fictional play within the stories by the same name. The first act of the made-up play is safe but it lures you into reading the second act. Anyone who reads even a few words of the second act is shown such horrific truths about the universe that they’re driven insane. Carcosa, The Yellow King, masks (both literal and metaphoric, masking who you truly are), black stars, the sign of the Yellow King, truth about the world bringing on madness, it all stems from The King In Yellow. This is the kind of thing that really excites me. And yes, I did read the entire King In Yellow between episodes just enhance my viewing pleasure. This is the kind of loyalty the show inspires. While it is certainly possible to watch the show and enjoy it without having delved into hundred-year-old, obscure literature, you want to for True Detective.
I have always been a proponent of the power of myth and metaphor. Its something that I try to use as often as possible in my own work. They are an incredibly strong force, which is rarely drawn on in television; certainly not to this degree.
Take the detectives’ names. Marty (Martin) Hart and Rust (Rustin) Cohle. Marty; the warm, personable, passionate, fiery, family-man-with-something-on-the-side. Martin is derived from Mars, Roman god of war and means “warring.” “Warring,” whether against the killer he hunts or the banalities of daily life, and “heart” are two perfect words to sum Marty up. “Rust” and “coal” are perfect expressions of Rustin Cohle; bleak, nihilistic and emotionless. Rust only occurs on metal, an element which is the perfect metaphor for Rust, cold and strong, but wounded, and we watch him disintegrate a little bit at a time. Coal… I can think of nothing better to describe Rust’s heart after his young daughter’s death, which sent him down this path of meaninglessness and hopelessness. But like real coal, there is the potential to change into something utterly different and glitteringly beautiful.
The more you pay attention to the show, the more subtleties you pick up on. Pay attention to how the color yellow is used, for example. Scenes that have the most to do with the killer are the most yellow. When Rust makes Marty view the VHS tape of Marie Fontenot’s murder, not only is the whole screen is saturated in yellow, it’s a clear metaphor for Marty having read the “second act.” And after you’ve read the second act, there is no going back. Things can never be the same.
Myth and metaphor are so cleverly and generously used, I could go on for pages about it, but you get the idea. I think you’ll have more fun if you watch the show and try to pick out the references yourself 🙂
I also love how the show uses classic noir and literature traits, like showing peoples’ reactions to horror instead of the horror itself. It’s an underused and extremely effective method of story-telling, not to mention underscores the mysterious tone of the entire show.
5. Healing and redemption – and the twist-within-a-twist ending. You expect, this being a show about two detectives solving a crime, even though by now you know you’ll see something more than that, that the show will end on a climax of Marty and Rust catching the killer. And they do catch their killer… who ends up being at once creepier and more ordinary than you had expected the grand Yellow King to be, which feels like a very authentic picture of actual murderers. Twist one. Marty and Rust catch their Yellow King about halfway through the last episode, giving them almost another 30 minutes to fill. Why would they need the extra time, you wonder. To finish the story. To really finish the real story.
What’s the real story? As Rust says, it’s the oldest story, of light verses darkness. Not just in the grander sense of of Marty and Rust catching their man, but of them facing the darknesses within their own lives. For Marty, this means seeing the family he destroyed years ago with his multiple affairs. And while things are far from all forgiven and forgotten, the show makes it clear that the fact that his ex-wife and daughters are even in the same room with him is a huge hurdle to have crossed. Marty is not ok. His family is not ok. But now, finally, things can begin to heal and just maybe, they will be ok some day.
And then there’s Rust. Rust, who began to withdraw from the world years and years ago when his young daughter was suddenly killed. Rust, who wants to hurry up and catch their man because his entire life has been “a circle of violence and degradation as long as I can remember” and he wants to end it as soon as his work is done. You can’t blame him for feeling that way. I think he expected he would die in the final confrontation with the killer, which very nearly did happen, but he finds himself alive still at the other end, after awakening from the coma his wounds put him in. What’s left for our nihilistic, philosophical, misanthropic hero?
A lot, it turns out. Our emotionless, cerebral, steely man, who I can remember smiling only once during the whole series, breaks down sobbing. In his coma, he had a vision of the afterlife where he encountered his father’s and daughter’s spirits, and moreover, he encountered their love. Love which continued beyond death. Which wiped away any disappointments his father may have had for him in life, any guilt he may have felt over his daughter’s death. He was wrapped in pure love, something he had never experienced before.
It profoundly effected him. When Marty, looking up at the night sky observes that the dark seems to have a lot more territory, Rust responds with “Yeah, you’re right about that… But you’re looking at it wrong… Once, there was only dark. If you ask me, the light’s winning.”
Twist two. The entire show wasn’t about them catching the Yellow King. The entire thing led up to this moment, when Marty and Rust are reconciled, the healing has begun, and Rust has his first moment of optimism. Healing and redemption. Light verses dark. That’s what we’d been watching this whole time.
So how does my self portrait tie in? In a lot of ways actually. Most obviously, it’s a reference to the starry night Marty and Rust philosophize under, the hope and beauty they were able to find. The yellow is obvious as well, and since purple is yellow’s complimentary color, that seemed like a good direction to go in. What’s hard to see in the shrunken, internet-appropriate version of the image is how the yellow fabric is sliding off my face; the mask is coming off. And most importantly, I wanted to portray the optimism Rust found there at the very end. Maybe life isn’t all shit and misery. Maybe it’s full of beauty and wonder too. I’ll do my part to try and make that second part more and more true.
This is a preview of a new set I’m currently editing for DreamWorld. This set will be important to the entire series as it marks the entrance of the first non-benevolent character.
At first I had envisioned this character, whom we only get a glimpse of for the moment, as a more Puckish, trouble-maker character, but as I worked on the costume and planned the shoot, I was also watching the first few weeks of True Detective. True Detective (one of the most original, mythic, challenging, well-acted and completely-fabulous-in-every-way show I’ve seen in a long time) had already begun making dark allusions toward The King In Yellow, and I found it seeped into what I was doing. And the darker I took the character, the more right it felt, so it was perfect timing on the part of the universe.
My model for this shoot is the incomparable Dan Donohue, an actor known for his extensive stage work, including just about every Shakespeare play you can think of and Scar, in Disney’s Broadway production of The Lion King. Dan is currently rehearsing for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival where he will play Richard the III in Richard the III, along with Mr. Murry in A Wrinkle In Time. While Dan himself is one of the sweetest, sincerest, most lovely and generous people I’ve had the pleasure to work with, he has the magical ability to summon inner darkness on whim. I had him start the shoot a little more Puckish and less evil, and let him get more and more dangerous as we progressed. And, of course, I ended up loving the darkest shots the best.
I have the wonderful problem of having too many wonderful images to choose from, but I’ll get by somehow. I wanted to send this one out into the world today, not only to harken the rest of the set, but to celebrate Dan’s appearance on Brooklyn 99 tonight! It’s a fantasic comedy in its own right, and Dan will be a great addition. He’s one of those all-talented people who is good at just about everything. It should be a lot fun to watch, especially since Stephanie Beatriz, aka Rosa is his real-life girlfriend! Think Rosa will warm up to him? Let’s find out by watching tonight! 🙂
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In other news, there are some new ME/CFS developments which could be incredibly damaging to how the medical communities, and in a trickle down way, the public in general, think of us and treat us. The short story is that the government has hired a new commitee to come up with a new definition for ME/CFS. Not only is this completely unnecessary as we already have two extremely comprehensive definitions in the International Consensus Criteria and the Canadian Consensus Critera (both PDFs), but because the team of 15 people they have assembled is comprised of only 8 ME specialists. I’m having trouble finding the data at the moment, but the remaining specialists in the team may not all even be doctors. This does NOT seem like the optimal group.
With the pittance given to ME research in the US, it seems absurd to spend nearly 1/4 of it reinventing the criteria wheel, and even more absurd when so many of them had no prior knowledge of ME as an illness. The ineptitude of the group can be read about in the sample letter below.
There is something we can do to combat this nonsense. You can go to: http://www.contactingthecongress.org/, type in your zip code and find your representatives. Email them the following:
Recently, the IOM released its report on Gulf War Illness recommending that the illness be named “Gulf War Illness” and that the two existing case definitions be used. In short, the IOM has done exactly nothing since they were hired four years ago– for $840,000 – to come up with a case definition.
The illness, they said had “too many symptoms.” HHS has now hired IOM to “define” Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) – another complex illness with many symptoms – to the tune of 1 million dollars. And, like the committee hired to review GWI, the IOM committee for ME/CFS is primarily composed of non-experts – people who have no research or clinical experience with the disease.
Fifty of the world’s top ME/CFS experts have formally protested the IOM contract to Secretary Sebelius. They have pointed out that there already is a case definition for ME/CFS designed by experts, the Canadian Consensus Criteria, and that having non-experts devise a new definition will set research and patient care back by decades. These experts are backed by thousands of patients, some of whom publicly voiced their opposition to the contract on January 27, 2014 at the IOM public meeting.
Jim Binns, chair of the Research Advisory Committee on Gulf War Veterans’ Illnesses says, “The conclusions of the report show that it was a waste of money. The committee never had the expertise or the process to do a case definition.” The current IOM process to review and redefine ME/CFS is an even bigger waste of money. It also a waste of time, which patients who are desperately ill with this disease cannot afford to lose.
Please support us by asking HHS to cancel the IOM Review of Diagnostic Criteria for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and to follow the recommendation made by the experts: Immediate adoption of the Canadian Consensus Criteria for ME/CFS.
The implications of what this group decides could be devastating to the already disadvantaged ME/CFS sufferers. You can, of course, add your own details, but the letter above is a good sample. One thing we have seen is that this group can respond to public pressure and outcry, so let’s make them respond!
My deepest thanks to anyone who is willing to do this!
As a continuation of my last post, this one will also be talking about Andrew Ashcraft, the boy I played with when I was young who grew up to be one of the fallen Hotshot heroes from Arizona’s recent fires.
I created a photo to work through my grief, as I often do, but it didn’t feel like enough. I kept thinking about Andrew’s poor widow, left with their four very young children to raise, all on her own. And then I’d think about the families of the 18 other firefighters and how would they get by, and I had to do something.
There are 19 families left without fathers, husbands, providers. The last thing they need while they’re still reeling from the profound loss is to worry about how the bills are going to get paid. Let’s give them some of the aid they need.
It was last Tuesday, July 2nd, that I found out about the tragic deaths of the nineteen firefighters in Arizona a few days earlier. At the same time, I discovered my childhood friend, Andrew Ashcraft, was one of those lost. It took a while to sink in. Andrew, who I had played with for years, was gone.
Not only Andrew, but eighteen others of Arizona’s finest firefighters were lost. They were called the Granite Mountain Hotshot crew; essentially the Navy Seals of the fire world. They were trained to go into the deadliest, most dire situations and kick the fire’s ass. They went in to make a fuel break for the devastating forest fire when the wind changed and trapped them. There was no escape.
My heart breaks for Andrew’s widow, left to raise their four very young children, the oldest of whom is merely six, by herself. It breaks for Andrew’s mother Deborah, who has to bury one of her children. It breaks for the eighteen others families in the same situation.
Andrew with his family
Andrew was only 29. He had been named the 2011 Rookie of the Year in the Hotshot crew. He’d had to really work to get into the crew. That was what he wanted to do. He chose to be the best, bravest, most worthy of men. I am in awe.
It’s important for me to state that it had been a long time since I’d seen Andrew… I was probably 13 or so. But he and his brother TJ were a big part of my childhood. Our moms were friends and would frequently trade babysitting, so for years my brother and I saw and played with the Ashcraft boys several times a week. My brother was the oldest of us, TJ was next, then me and Andrew was the youngest, even though only four years separated us all. It was just enough of an age difference that the older two boys would want to go off and do Secret Older Boy Things together (mostly involving GI Joes, as I recall) so Andrew and I were often our own group… which sometimes consisted merely of sulking about being left out of Secret Boy Things. But we made our own fun.
I can’t find a photo of the four of us together, but here’s a photo of myself (in front), TJ and my brother in some strange church play.
One of the clearest memories I have of the four of us is arguing heatedly over who played which character when we would play Batman. My brother, the oldest, was naturally Batman. When he and I played it at home, I was Robin, and I felt that was my part. But TJ’s slight age difference made a good argument in the logic of children for him assuming the role of Robin. The debate was settled when we found out about Batgirl, who I would obviously play, leaving Robin to TJ. But poor Andrew was always forced to play Alfred or some random henchmen; he never got to play a really good character. I had laughingly told this story to Geoff quite a while ago, not realizing the irony that was to come.
Andrew grew up to be a real, living, actual hero. He lived his heroism more than any person I know of. He went out doing what he loved, with the men he loved, and if he ever felt fear, he never let it stop him. I am so sad his family has lost him. I am sad that the world has lost such an amazing person. And I am sad that I never got to know Andrew at this age, that we lost touch, and I only discovered what an incredible person he was second hand. The world is nineteen wonderful souls poorer.
As I cried into Geoff’s chest the day I heard the news, one of the first things he asked was how I was going to work through my feelings photographically. This is just one of the many reasons I love him, because I was already mentally hard at work trying out different concepts and trying to figure it out. As I was working through my grief and trying to put my feelings into a visual form, I was also talking a lot with Katie, who had recently experienced a similar kind of loss. It was a great comfort to have her and other people in my life familiar with grief to talk to. Katie and I already had a shoot planned in a few days, so I told her to just expect that we would shoot something to honor Andrew and the other firefighters.
This was another shoot done on a non-budget. It took just a few big, yellow smoke bombs and the fresh flowers. Also, HUGE thanks to Geoff for being my human shutter release!
Usually I edit things in order of them being shot, as that seems fairest, but this got bumped way up in line. I really wanted it to be released today, the day of the big memorial service in Prescott. You’ll see that Katie is playing the role of the rescuer, pulling me to safety, but not far from the danger herself. The smoke wrapping around my body and throat actually happened exactly like that, straight out of camera, and seems to want to pull me back and not let go. Katie is carrying nineteen large orange, yellow and red flowers, symbolizing the fallen heroes, and I like that there are smaller yellow flowers connected to the stalks; they seem to symbolize the fireman’s family.
When I searched for a title for this photo, I immediately remembered what Jimmy in Boardwalk Empire says before each drink instead of the standard “cheers” or “bottom’s up;” he says “to the lost.” For Jimmy it was about his lost comrades during the war, but it seemed to fit here perfectly. This is also only the second time I’ve ever done a square crop on a photo. For the most part I stick very strictly to my 2×3 ratio. This photo just called for something else, so I went with it. There are some detail shots of the photo below.
I hope Andrew’s family heals as quickly as it can, along with the rest of the families. There is nothing I can say or do that can make it better for them. How I wish there was. All I can do is try to honor the fallen heroes, with my words, my photos, and my many, many tears.
Andrew was a badass… but the very best kind, who hasn’t lost his softer side. He was a true hero, like Prince Lir. We didn’t know that Andrew was the biggest hero of us all.
I had the chance to shoot Paul Telfer, who looks startlingly like you would imagine Superman would look in real life. When I was casting the role of the Sentinel, Paul immediately came to mind. He just looks like someone who would be more than capable of keeping you safe, in this world or DreamWorld!
You might recognize Paul from his recurring role on NCIS, and recent appearances on Body of Proof and Vampire Diaries. In fact, you can catch him on Vampire Diaries on their season finale on hte 16th! Make sure to set your DVR. 🙂 He is also just the nicest person; charming, interesting and he really brought his acting skills into play for the photos. He was a joy to shoot!
DreamWorld was going to need a protector; someone who would watch over you as you sleep and keep the nightmares at bay. As I started thinking about how to visually portray this, I again associated one’s ego with eggs (although I actually conceived and shot this before Lauren’s photo). It seemed very fitting; the intrinsic fragility of eggs, combined with their promise of life, growth and change… a perfect metaphor for the human soul.
For them to work in the photo, they were going to need to be much, much larger than an average egg, so I turned to the internet. It proved really quite difficult to find suitable eggs; everything was either far too small or far too large (and also cost far too much). Eventually though, I came across some plastic eggs at a party supply site. They were all the wrong colors, and the package came with many more than I needed, but they would work, so I purchased them.
Once they arrived, I set about painting them. I started with a few base coats of a pearly blue acrylic paint… I love this paint, it’s actually the same paint that I used to cover the dresser at the foot of my bed. It’s just gorgeous. Being covered in the paint immediately made the eggs look less like toys and much more magical. I added in several more layers of different colors and textures, finishing them by spritzing them with water and then spraying on a light haze of silver spray paint. The paint wouldn’t adhere where the water was, so it gave the eggs a slightly speckled appearance, which made them look like authentic eggs.
Painting eggs
More painting eggs
Paul came over and the weather gods must have been favoring me, since it was a gorgeously overcast afternoon. Cloudy, overcast days are my very favorite, both personally and for shooting in. I scooped up a mess of pine needles, generously provided by the little pine grove in front of my house. Creating a nest out of them brought back fond childhood memories of building just such nests at parks which I’d sit in, pretending to be a bird. Happy memories!
The painted eggs got loaded into the nest, along with some moss I’d found just to give an extra little dimension of realism. Paul posed with them and was such a pro! Shooting all three photos probably took twenty or thirty minutes, and then we were done!
I can never shoot anything without an animal appeared unexpectedly in it, as my neighbor’s dog Mei Mei demonstrates.
Mei Mei bomb
I felt like I’d done a good job with the photos when I had a nightmare a few days after I’d finished them, and imagining the Sentinel guarding me in my sleep helped calm and comfort me. Please enjoy the finished photos and detail shots from each image, and feel free to imagine the Sentinel is guarding your sleep too 🙂
I had the great pleasure recently of shooting with Lauren Cohan, the very talented actress many of you will know as Maggie from AMC’s The Walking Dead, which has its season finale this Sunday! She was also a special guest lead in this week’s episode of Law and Order: SVU.
I’d had a couple of concepts in mind to use with her, so let me back up a little and take you through the whole creation process.
I’ve been reading The Hero With A Thousand Faces, by my idol Joseph Campbell, in which he really delves into his concept of the Hero’s Journey. The Hero’s Journey, aka the Monomyth, is the story outline that all classic stories, folktales, myths, fairy tales and most popular movies of our day follow. I will let him describe the basic Hero’s Journey in his own words: “A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix… it’s easier to find examples of stories which are not variations of the Hero’s Journey than those that are. And of course, the actual Journey he proposes is much more complex than that brief blurb could touch on; there is the Departure, Initiation, and Return, each of which have six or seven individual steps.
I’ve found the Hero’s Journey to be a fascinating concept ever since I first heard about it. And as Joseph Campbell wrote so heavily, and influentially, about dreams, myths and the importance of both in our modern lives, I knew his work would color much of what DreamWorld is becoming. Recently I decided I would like to do a sub-series in DreamWorld portraying each of the steps along the Hero’s Journey. It will be a challenge, and a long journey of its own, but I felt it would make an important contribution to DreamWorld.
As I’ve been reading The Hero With A Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell has been taking us through the Journey one step at a time, using examples from mythologies and religions all over the world. Crossing The First Threshold is the moment where the hero is given his first real challenge and he realizes there’s no going back (eg, taking the red pill). In illustrating this step, Campbell talks about a story where a thunderbolt in one’s belly is used as a metaphor for a person’s essence. It is their soul, their spiritual center, and it is what gives them the strength and intrinsic ability to overcome the challenges the Journey will throw at them. I loved that image, so I set about figuring out how to incorporate it into my photo.
While I puzzled out the thunderbolt, I decided to start working on two pieces of my Hero’s costume; a crown and an amulet. I made them both in a very similar easy, quick way, starting with some cardboard from a cereal box I had finished recently.
I had a large deer-head necklace that I’d been wanting to use for a while, and I thought it would make a beautiful center to the amulet. I doodled a complimentary shape on the cardboard, traced the shape onto a piece of paper, flipped it, and gave myself a very symmetrical base.
Next I started working on the crown, using the same doodle-trace-flip method to give myself as much symmetry as possible.
Pinning and gluing the crown pieces together.
Once I had the basic shapes down, it came time to wrap them all in aluminum foil. I just smooshed it on, not worrying about making it smooth, since having a bit of texture was going to actually be good for my purposes.
Foil-wrapped cardboard.
The next step is one I remembered learning as a kid from a library book which taught you how to make your own toys and crafts; pirate coins in this case. Smear black paint on the whole surface, then rub most of it off with a paper towel. The paint will stick just in the cracks and crevasses, giving a much more authentic, aged, weathered look to the pieces.
Post paint.
I added a couple of hair combs to the crown to help it stay it Lauren’s hair. Then came the fun part; decorating them both!
I knew I wanted to use the deer necklace on he amulet so I twisted it on with a few wires, so I have the option of taking it off and using it somewhere else later (as I almost certainly will).
At the bottom is a decorative piece from a hair pin I’d gotten as a teenager and never got rid of after it broke because it was pretty. I am SUCH a magpie, but it can be a handy curse.
I dug into my bead stash and found a bag of purple and orange beads of various sizes and shapes which I thought would work really well. I began hot-gluing them on, which is not the way to do it if you wan something really solid and lasting. I did not. I wanted it to hold together long enough to shoot, then be easy to take apart and use the beads again somewhere else.
Done and done! Now on to my thunderbolt/soul piece. I do not recall the exact chain of thoughts that led me down this path, but something about the word ego and its similarity to egg made me want to give the soul an eggy, oval shape.
This one I started with a cardboard oval, cut from more of the same giving cereal box. I covered it with foil, then glued lot and lots of little scraps of lace (left over from my lace leaves) to give it a little dimensionality and wrapped the whole thing in plastic wrap.
Plastic-wrapped soul egg.
I painted the outline with some soft purple paints, darkening the color gradually around the perimeter. And lastly, as a nod to the “thunderbolt” part of the story, I topped it off with a sparkly, snowflake-shaped ornament.
All that was left was the glue the egg onto a length of wide ribbon to make a belt of it, and there I was done!
The day of the shoot arrived, and Lauren was fantastic for everything; a trooper and such pleasure to shoot! I suspected that Lauren’s acting ability would lend itself well to my concepts for her, and she did not disappoint; she was wonderful 🙂
Me trying to explain the whole concept of the Hero’s Journey, its history, meaning and subtext to Lauren… my models all have to listen to me pontificate a lot. She bore this with good humor… or rather, humour, in her case, since she’s British.
The ubiquitous Calantha bomb of the talent; she manages to work herself into the background of most photos at least once.
This time Calantha not only photobombed us, but she decided that my laying on the ground to get the angle I wanted was irresistible and she HAD to lay down with me.
She decided I was boring, so she took a nap.
I have another photo to work up still, but I’ll be posting those later. Editing just this one was tough enough; I put well over 50 hours into it. I’ll need a little break before I get to the rest! But for now, here is Lauren Cohen Crossing The First Threshold of the Hero’s Journey!
Mythic Pictures 