7 Richard Harrow Spin-Offs The Boardwalk Empire Writers Never Considered

WARNING: this post contains major plot spoilers from the last season of Boardwalk Empire.  Turn back now if you haven’t seen it all!!

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My regular blog readers will know that Jack Huston’s “Richard Harrow” is my absolute favorite character on BOARDWALK EMPIRE.  And I was in disbelief when Richard died last week in the fourth season finale.

I recently read a quote from Huston that the writers killed off Richard because there was nowhere left to take the role.  I disagree. Did they for a moment even consider a Richard spin-off?  For example….

1. THE FACTS OF RICHARD

Richard becomes the house mother to a group of precocious boarding school girls.  Just imagine Richard guiding them through boy troubles or explaining the beauty of their first period.  “I’ve shot.  A lot of people.  But none of them ever took seven days.  To bleed out.” he would say in the stop-and-go cadence of his gravelly, yet reassuring, voice.

“Don’t let those boys. Pressure you into anything. You don’t want to do. If they do. I’ll kill their mother and sisters.  To draw them out.  Then I’ll kill them.“

2. RICHARD AND SHIRLEY

Richard moves to Milwaukee to work at a beer bottling plant… even though it’s still Prohibition.  There he meets a spunky roommate and moves into a basement apartment where he sews a giant “R” on each of his shirts, when not working on his scrapbook.

“Schlemiel!  Schlimazel!  Hasenpfeffer.  Incorporated!”

RICHARD AND SHIRLEY

3. RICHARD

Radio is becoming a big thing in 1924 and Richard is leading the pack.  He moves to Seattle and uses his raspy, soothing voice to dispense homespun psychiatric advice to people contacting him through the equally on-the-rise technology of the telephone:  “Your husband doesn’t.  Understand you?  Have you ever considered.  Shooting him in the face?  I once waited three days.  To shoot a German sniper.”

“I’ve been told that.  My voice is very.  Soothing.“

4. RICH

Richard leaves his friends behind and moves to Hollywood to pursue his dream of being in silent pictures.  However, once they realize how limiting it is to only be able to film the right side of his face, the spin-off is cancelled after three episodes…which means it lasted just a little longer than JOEY.

“How you. Doin’?“

6. HARROW

Richard moves to a small New England town where he opens a bed and breakfast, surrounded by a colorful cast of characters.  In the last episode, he wakes up in bed next to Nucky Thompson and realizes it was all just a beautiful dream.

“Nucky, I had. The strangest dream.”

7. RICHARD LOVES CHACHI

Is musical success in the cards for Richard when he and Chachi move to Chicago to start a band?  In spite of Richard’s angelic singing voice, the answer is, sadly, no.

It’s just as well.  Chicago is Al Capone’s territory anyway.

“Chachi, you’re. The love of my life.“

Come on, BOARDWALK writers.  Surely you could think of more gold to mine from such a rich, complex and utterly unique character!  In a spirit of hopefulness, I’ll leave you with my photo Cote of Arms.  This particular photo was inspired by BOARDWALK; Katie and I dressed up in vintage lingerie and pretended to be poor, cold, soiled doves from the show’s era.  Despite the bad situation they seem to be in, I see hope in it, and that they will take care of each other.  So I’ll hope that the writers will come to their senses and we’ll find out next season that Richard wasn’t really dead.

Though I ran it back and looked really close…and he wasn’t breathing.

Cote of Arms

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